motivation


so i have been doing noting these days except working and coming home and watching tv and being on the internet.

example 1; got up at 11 today, been online since 11.01, reading through treads and blogs, downloading some music. its now 3.50, i had my first smoke of the day 2 minutes ago. generally i have at least 2 in the first hour of being awake. now I'm typing this.
my housemates went earlier on to the cinema for like kid price film, they are just back now, they hate kids, lesson learned!

i need to do something, anything.

to myself i think this is productive. but...

i have to try and get some sort of music thing going, i haven't got spare time but i can make time for it, just my schedule is all over the place. i have to still sort out the program i got with my midi controller and actually use it to do something. meant to get together with two guys to do something but i end up leaving it to the last minute to see if they can jam which ends up that they can't.

doesn't help that i have been paid since January and that pay check finished of paying for christmas and my short time addiction to eBay! i get really down when it comes to money. i want to save, i want to get my arm finished, i want to go out, go to shows, i have to pay rent, bills, eat!

myself and my girlfriend got a sweet price on flights to Sweden for her birthday and is just before paddy's day (a holiday i don't enjoy as much as i used to) but i can't wait, i really like being in Sweden, it's a good buzz. want to get my Roskilde Tickets soon, it's going to be great.

roskilde

i still haven't played my Wii in ages, but now the chair in front of the tv is cleared of laundry so thats no excuse now.
i need to mow the lawn at our house soon, hasn't been mowed since before the winter and probably could have been done before the winter as well, going to be a bitch. need to do laundry, dishes, tidy the garage. might happen today, might not. was thinking about doing the lawn as it looks dry from inside my house, when i went for a smoke rain started to fall, i'll take that as a sign.

i think i just need a big change or for February that has felt like a really long January to end. i want it to be march so i can go away and then April will come and might have a mini adventure then some summer feeling in May (i hope) and so on.

going to make coffee have a smoke and maybe just maybe cut the lawn!

routine;

my routine is not very stable. i do shifts in work that are 7.30 to 4.30 or 1 to 10 and at the weekends it'll be 11 to 8 as well as the early shift. i do like that if i am on an early i can go and do stuff or if i get up early enough i can go and do something before work. generally, i only get out of bed maybe 10 mins before i should be in work, whichever shift, and when i come home i don't really do anything. i may have something planned but if when i sit down, i have that searing pain running through my legs from being on my feet all day and running up down stairs, i will stay sitting down.

i need to make more time or make me use my time to do stuff. i want to take more photos with my new camera. i have been using it on a work project but i want to get back into taking photos for myself like this one.
i want to play my drums more. i have that new keyboard/midi controller, start making stuff with it (thats not all me tho, program i want to use it with won't unlock) i am definitely going to play my Wii tonight. having played it in about 2 weeks. i have since the new year made it a point to go to shows and head out on the weekends a bit more than last year. definitely have the time for all that, generally it boils down to monetary issues but i am happy to say that it is the latter that will only lose out due to monetary issues


i was at dillinger escape plan the other night. intense show. stolen babies are probably the strangest band i have ever heard and i think they like that. between the buried and me were amazing but due to the village having a weird set up and the sound sucking their show could have be much better. dillinger were unreal, they just plowed through any issues may have been there.

anyway got to go to work.

i need to learn how to play piano again! i did piano/keyboard classes for a while in college as part of my course, so i understand a little of what i can barely remember. i just got this keyboard/midi controller the other day. thankfully it works with the programs i have on my computer so it will just take me a bit of time to get the full use out of it, thankfully!






was at a really good show last week, it was put on by the local crew of demented promotions and half shell records. this was quality. i was only at the show on Friday but i heard that the Saturday show was also amazing. the local bands definitely played to raise the bar! i really love seeing talented bands come from guys i know. All or Nothing and Save your Breath were both amazing, CHECK THEM OUT! i preferred all or nothing but save your breath are a great band as well and i love the welsh accent!







the show i am looking forward to is probably the To Kill show next month. it should be really good since the line is pretty solid.

well weird, just lost my connection to my wireless keyboard and then it came back. anyway when something more comes up i'll be back.

so i just finished watching season 2 of heroes thanks to this site.
only 11 episodes but amazing. it is one of the few tv shows i have ever gotten addicted to. during season 1 i was making sure that i was at home for every episode. i think because of the writers strike in the states heroes is on hiatus. in ireland, season 2 is showing on channel 6 on monday nights and repeats on sunday. CHECK IT OUT! if you haven't already.

staying still, going somewhere

i want to go away somewhere. holiday time that i have gained over the last year has come around to the time where i have to take it. to fit in with other schedules it'll be around paddy's day. because of paddy's day flights are expensive to and from this beautiful emerald isle! i have been trying to find somewhere that would be amazing to go to but doesn't cost a fucking fortune, looks like it'll be galway or something!!

also been thinking about leaving and setting up shop somewhere else. don't know where and when but know the thought is there and the plan will follow.
<= might head there, thats toronto.
being just on the outside of most stuff these days, i think i am finding it harder to connect. in theory it shouldn't make that much difference not being in this country to connect with everyone as i do these days. i have been thinking about how it should be hard, all the people you leave behind, what do you bring, would you sell all your stuff, what would you do there, how can you relocate easily. then i think of my a good friend who is chilling over there having the buzz. probably missing everyone loads but somehow seems like he is still here because he is using amazing technology to keep in touch. i'm still trying to understand how he could do it but at the same time its all i want to do these days. maybe it just that January was actually shit but with some highlights. and i hate people.

girl i work with is going to head over to toronto later this year. i was asking did she know anyone, she said no, but it's only a nine hour drive to chicago. how amazing is that, she's going over by herself, she doesn't know anyone there and can't wait. i would be shitting it. i like knowing people around me, i understand that i can meet new people but to go somewhere and not know anyone and not just be a holiday!

i have worked hard for my position in work and to think that i'd come in one day and go "see ya, i'm off!" that'd be strange. i hope that i could get a sweet job with my experience but at the moment i don't want to leave it. i don't want to start from scratch again but i don't want to be here either. (basically i'm fucked!!) all of this doesn't help the fact that i can spend any money i get instantaneously. no money, no travel. no music, no life.

sure we'll see what happens, hopefully febuary is much better!!!