staying still, going somewhere

i want to go away somewhere. holiday time that i have gained over the last year has come around to the time where i have to take it. to fit in with other schedules it'll be around paddy's day. because of paddy's day flights are expensive to and from this beautiful emerald isle! i have been trying to find somewhere that would be amazing to go to but doesn't cost a fucking fortune, looks like it'll be galway or something!!

also been thinking about leaving and setting up shop somewhere else. don't know where and when but know the thought is there and the plan will follow.
<= might head there, thats toronto.
being just on the outside of most stuff these days, i think i am finding it harder to connect. in theory it shouldn't make that much difference not being in this country to connect with everyone as i do these days. i have been thinking about how it should be hard, all the people you leave behind, what do you bring, would you sell all your stuff, what would you do there, how can you relocate easily. then i think of my a good friend who is chilling over there having the buzz. probably missing everyone loads but somehow seems like he is still here because he is using amazing technology to keep in touch. i'm still trying to understand how he could do it but at the same time its all i want to do these days. maybe it just that January was actually shit but with some highlights. and i hate people.

girl i work with is going to head over to toronto later this year. i was asking did she know anyone, she said no, but it's only a nine hour drive to chicago. how amazing is that, she's going over by herself, she doesn't know anyone there and can't wait. i would be shitting it. i like knowing people around me, i understand that i can meet new people but to go somewhere and not know anyone and not just be a holiday!

i have worked hard for my position in work and to think that i'd come in one day and go "see ya, i'm off!" that'd be strange. i hope that i could get a sweet job with my experience but at the moment i don't want to leave it. i don't want to start from scratch again but i don't want to be here either. (basically i'm fucked!!) all of this doesn't help the fact that i can spend any money i get instantaneously. no money, no travel. no music, no life.

sure we'll see what happens, hopefully febuary is much better!!!